Mindfulness and Grief
You’ve probably heard of mindfulness or meditation in recent years. It has grown in popularity in conjunction with yoga, meditation, and therapy. Mindful.org defines mindfulness as “the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” Mindfulness is a quality that humans already have; we just have to learn how to access it.
Mindfulness has its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism, but it also has a long history of secular practice. It was largely popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder and former director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, and has made its way into mainstream medicine. Mindfulness has been shown to help relieve stress, lower blood pressure, improve sleep, and treat substance abuse issues.
How to practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is often equated with meditation, but meditation is just one method of practicing mindfulness. You can practice mindfulness while eating, walking, making art, or any other activity. What makes a task mindful is your awareness. Pay full attention to what you are doing and what your body is experiencing. As you are distracted by thoughts, notice the distraction and bring your awareness back to the task at hand. This process is the same one used in meditation, with the breath as the focus.
People often think of mindfulness and meditation as being “in your head” or about emptying your mind of thoughts. However, mindfulness is primarily about paying attention to what’s in your body. Meditation doesn’t require you to stop thinking, but helps you build awareness of your thoughts and let them go.
How mindfulness can help with grief
There are a number of ways that mindfulness and meditation can help with grief. Impermanence is a core component of Buddhism, and practicing mindfulness can make us less uncomfortable with the idea that nothing can stay the same forever. This includes our grief, which is impermanent and ever-changing.
Mindfulness can help prevent you from either fully succumbing to your grief, or actively avoiding it. Neither of these are healthy ways to heal from grief. Instead, mindfulness invites us to fully experience our feelings and learn from them, but not prolong them unnecessarily with our thoughts. When you feel a wave of sadness coming, allow yourself to experience it for a minute, but then breathe deeply and ground yourself. This may be challenging initially, but will feel more natural with time.
Mindfulness can teach us acceptance. As we meditate or do another activity mindfully, we notice our thoughts, accept them, and let them go. Being accepting during meditation can help us be accepting during the rest of our lives. This acceptance can be a very valuable skill when it comes to accepting a loss. Losses that are accepted may still be painful, but they do not hinder your ability to function.
How to get started
If you’re interested in trying mindfulness, whether to help with grief or for its other benefits, there are many resources available to you. You can take a class online, try an app, go for a mindful walk, or simply try to incorporate the tenets of mindfulness into your everyday life. Try to focus on one thing at a time without multitasking. Remember that mindfulness is a process, not a destination, and it may take some practice to get the hang of. Above all, be kind and patient with yourself.
Sources
https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/
https://www.mindful.org/6-mindful-strategies-for-recovering-from-loss/
https://whatsyourgrief.com/mindfulness-and-grief/
https://www.excelatlife.com/downloads/mindfulness/understanding5.htm
https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm
https://www.verywellmind.com/mindfulness-the-health-and-stress-relief-benefits-3145189
