Navigating Grief During The Holidays
Navigating grief during these special dates
The holidays are challenging for anyone struggling with losing a loved one. Because celebrations are so focused on joy and gathering with family, they can strengthen feelings of grief. In our Thanksgiving blog, we focused on how to celebrate the holidays while grieving the loss of loved ones who are also suffering. This post will focus more specifically on you: what you can do to feel okay as the holidays continue.
Set realistic expectations for yourself
Be realistic about what you can actually do. Don’t take on more than feels comfortable. It’s okay to say no to some things, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Be honest with yourself and others about what you do and don’t want to do. You can even cancel a holiday if it feels like too much. If you do celebrate, be sure to advocate for traditions that are important to you. Check out our Thanksgiving blog for ideas on creating new traditions.
Make a plan before gatherings
If you’ll be attending a holiday gathering, create an “escape plan” so you don’t get stuck there longer than you want to be. Drive yourself or get a ride from someone understanding. If you have a plan in advance, it can reduce some of the dread you may have of these gatherings, and allow you to actually enjoy them.
Before the holidays, be sure to spend some time reflecting on potential stressors that may arise at gatherings, and how you can deal with them. Maybe you need to bring someone with you for emotional or even physical support.
Prioritize self care
Self care doesn’t just mean taking a bath and doing a face mask; it means really taking the time to listen to your body and address your needs. You may need to schedule self care so that it happens regularly. Take time to be alone, but don’t isolate yourself. Make sure you’re addressing the needs of your mind, body, and spirit. Exercise, meditate, journal, eat well. Avoid the temptation of using alcohol to self-medicate.
Talk about your feelings
Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. Sit with them, even if they are hard. It may be tempting to suppress your feelings, but this can actually make your grieving process more difficult.
Talk about your feelings and your deceased loved one as much as you want, with family, friends, or professionals. Consider joining a support group to talk to people in similar situations.
Be patient
Remember that you won’t always feel like this. Especially if this is your first holiday season without your loved one, you may feel hopeless. Do whatever it takes to get through these first holidays. It’s okay to feel happy while you grieve. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that there is no correct way to go through this process.
Sources
https://whatsyourgrief.com/64-tips-grief-at-the-holidays/
https://grief.com/grief-the-holidays/
https://www.self.com/story/dealing-with-grief-during-the-holidays
https://www.bustle.com/p/15-women-on-how-they-cope-with-grief-around-the-holidays-13208143
