....And who cares for the caregivers?
Most of the time, when we hear a person is terminally ill, we continuously ask about the patient, but we rarely ask about the caregiver. So the question is: who cares for the caregivers? We ask this question because, from our personal history and our professional insight, we have noticed that caregivers are usually forgotten. This often happens a couple of weeks after the person who they are caring for has been diagnosed. When we mention "forgotten," we mean their needs and desires are ignored.
Caregivers Situation in Numbers
We are not alone in this assessment. The National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP conducted a study in 2015 that shows that "Family caregivers spend an average of 24.4 hours per week providing care, and nearly 1 in 4 caregivers spends 41 hours or more per week providing care." These are terrifying statistics considering the effort that these caregivers are putting in to take care of someone they love while also taking care of themselves. The numbers escalate when we see that "the average duration of a caregiver's role is 4 years." Four years of providing constant care take a significant toll on one's body and mental health. To show the effects that being a caregiver for someone passing away has on the body and mental health, the Family Caregiver Alliance conducted another study. This 2006 study shows that "40% to 70% of family caregivers have clinically significant depression symptoms." That is an extremely high number for people that spend years doing this labor.
Caregivers Love
Titipoza focuses on providing types of emotional support that friends and family are not trained to provide. Unfortunately, death is seen as an obvious problem. Nobody teaches us to work with death. To approach the sick and dying with love and compassion, and to understand the effects that the end of a loved one can have on those left behind. We must know and share that caregivers need help and support as well. One of the best ways to support the caregivers in your life is by offering to bring a meal, take them to a doctor's appointment, take them out for a fun night out, etc. Remember that caregivers have emotions and expectations that were put on hold to care for this person. We want to highlight that as much as they prioritize caring for someone else, their own emotions and personal situation are still important.
Supporting a Caregiver
Titipoza focuses on providing types of emotional support that friends and family are not trained to provide. Unfortunately, death is seen as an external problem. Nobody teaches us to work with death, to approach the sick and dying with love and compassion, and to understand the effects that the death of a loved one can have on those left behind. We must know and share that caregivers need help and support as well. One of the best ways to support the caregivers in your life is by offering to bring a meal, take them to a doctor's appointment, take them out for a fun night out, etc. Remember that caregivers have emotions and expectations that were put on hold to care for this person. We want to highlight that as much as they may prioritize caring for someone else, their own emotions and personal situation are still important
Let’s acknowledge the Caregivers in Our Lives
Being a caregiver is an honorable role that is full of love. Nonetheless, we need to be aware that they need as much love, compassion, and care as they are providing, if not more. If you help take care of the caregivers, they will be able to provide better care to their loved ones. If you know of anyone who is providing care for a family member or a friend, make sure to check on them and offer help. The best way to offer this kind of support is to avoid questions such as "what do you need?" instead use "I am cooking and have some extra food that I leave at your house in an hour, are you allergic to any ingredients." Caregivers might be to shy to say what they need, but when you offer a clear way to help them out, they will be immensely grateful.
If you are a caregiver, leave a comment on ways that you wished you were supported. If you have assisted a caregiver, let us know what tangible ways you have aided the caregivers in your life.
