New Beginnings. Starting fresh after a loss.
New Year, new me?
The new year is known as a time to set intentions for the year to come that align with and bring you closer to your life goals. 2020 was a particularly rough year for almost everyone, so the feeling of starting fresh in a new year is incredibly inspiring and motivating. This is also a great time to evaluate what you want your life to look like if you have experienced a loss. Maybe the loss was recent, and you’ve just made it through your first holiday season without your loved one. Perhaps some time has passed. Either way, an essential step of the grief process is reflecting on your life and learning to move forward with your experience.
Adjusting to a loss
In the wake of a loss, there are adjustments you will have to make beyond coping with the grief. You may experience a loss of identity. You may be used to identifying as half of a couple, a daughter, a best friend, or some other identity in relation to the person who has died. You may feel a loss of direction. You may experience grief for a future you have lost.
You may need to adapt to one income instead of two. Maybe you’re considering moving into a smaller house or apartment. If you have lost a partner, you might even be thinking ahead to what it will be like to date other people. Your environment and circumstances have changed dramatically, and this requires new beginnings.
Reflecting on your life
Reflect on your routines and activities, and see what needs to change. Are you doing a lot of nothing, or are you taking on too much? Are there activities you used to enjoy that are no longer a part of your life? It may be time to schedule those back in.
You may want to experiment with different coping tools, incorporate exercise and mindfulness, and find ways to honor your loved one that don’t interfere with you living your life. Journaling can be an important component of healing. Helping other people through volunteer work can be very beneficial.
Now is the time to try new things. Sign up for a class you have always wanted to take. Find new ways to get involved in your community. Connect with new people, or reconnect with those you have lost touch with. Engaging with other people may feel difficult after a loss, but it is an important part of the grief process. It gives you the opportunity to process emotions, receive support, and experience positive emotions. Cultivating new friendships can foster your own personal growth.
You may want to seek out a mentor who can guide you in this time. If that option is not available, try learning about the life and habits of someone you admire so that you can emulate aspects of their life that you find compelling. In whatever new activities and paths you choose, be patient with yourself, practice gratitude, and remain open to the unknown.
Goal setting
Goal setting is fundamental to planning a new life. Short-term goal setting will help you regain a feeling of control of your life, and can improve self esteem. Long-term goal setting will structure your life and orient it toward the type of growth you want to see in yourself. Spend time thinking deeply about what you want your life to look like before choosing your goals. What are your priorities? What kind of habits do you need to let go of?
Practice SMART goal setting; be sure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. You are less likely to become frustrated and unmotivated if you see yourself making progress.
